Well Aren't You the Freakiest Thing?
by Chloes-Cheese
Summary: Takes place during the movie, but tweaks the details a bit to establish a relationship between Fandral and Darcy. Because he is an attractive guy and Darcy has eyes. From Darcy's POV. T for language. COMPLETE!
1. In Walk Four Strangers

**Disclaimer: I am not Stan Lee. I am not Jack Kirby. Nor am I Kenneth Branagh or any of the lovely brilliant people who came up with Thor and the latest movie. Wah.**

**Author's Note: hey guys. Saw Thor today I am in so much freaking love it is not funny. I love Thor. I love Loki. And I fluffing Love Fandral, which is why I started this story.**

**Fanfiction has no love yet for that awesome Asgardian. So I started this because I connect with Darcy so much and I want Fandral to get with someone.**

**Okay here is a bit of a teaser chapter to see if anyone wants to read it. if I get good response there will be more and better.**

_This might easily be one the freakiest thing I have ever seen_. I thought to myself as my coffee mug slid out of my hands at the same time Jane and Erik dropped theirs.

Thor, or whoever he was, was a strange guy and I was only just starting to get used to it when in walks his four friends looking straight from some fantasy convention talking about warriors and hugging the self-proclaimed god of thunder as if he was their brother.

Getting over the initial shock of their appearance, I began looking them over assigning them names in my head. Red hair, round around the middle, boisterous with a curly beard- Gimli; Asian, intense warrior dude with freaky hair- Jet Li Wannabe; almost painfully pretty warrior princess- Xena and then finally the pretty blonde guy with some obvious arm muscles who reminded me of Carrey Elwes when he was younger- Westley.

Jet Li-wannabe, okay he scared me. Gimli looked like someone you wanted to keep away from alcohol, Xena was one of those tough chicks who looked like she never had a hair out of place, Westley however, was interesting. Thor blabbed on with them about "you shouldn't be here" and so on but I was just checking out Westley's butt. Damn, he was attractive. I mean Thor, of course was too, but I mean he was so obviously Jane's. he kinda made Jane go gaga and forget rational reasoning which I had been attempting to do the entire time I knew her. But Westley, unless perfect Xena had already claimed him, I might have a shot with him. Stepping over the fragments of my mug, I made my way over the renaissance warriors and their seeming leader.

"Hiya, Thor, buddy. Mind introducing us to the rest of the group?" I suggested, placing a hand on Thor's well-defined arm.

"Of course." He replied in his booming voice with a wide smile, "these are my closest friends, the formidable Lady Sif and the Warriors Three: Hogun the Grim, Volstagg the Valiant and Fandral the Dashing."

Okay, those names were foreign and confusing, I'd be sticking with Jet Li Wannabe, Gimli, Xena, and Westley. But the Dashing, that was certainly an appropriate title.

"Darcy." I said by way of introduction sticking out my hand to the gorgeous Fandral.

He stared at my hand with adorable confusion.

"In this realm, it is customary to shake hands upon introduction," Thor explained.

Pretty boy took my hand a little hesitantly, and did a bit of an awkward shake.

"Pleased to meet ya," I said, giving my classic beaming smile.

"The pleasure is mine if you are one of the one who has aided our leader Thor in his hour of need," Westley replied charmingly, bringing up my hand to kiss it.

If this was how attractive men treated women where ever they were from, then that could not be a bad place in my book. I giggled nervously, "oh no, no problem."

I chose to keep the 'I tasered your friend because he was acting like a crazy person' story to myself.

"Yes, we thank you all." Sif said to the three of us.

"We were happy to do it." Jane said, courteously. I repressed a snort at her stretching the truth but saw no need to give the warriors a reason to dislike us seeing how armed they were.

"It brings me great joy to see you, but why have you come?" Thor asked, a big smile still on his face as his eyebrows knit together.

"It's Loki." Jet Li Wannabe responded, seriously, "He has assumed the throne and threatens the safety of Asgard, we need you to return."

"I cannot." Thor responded, clearly angsting out as most of what they said went right over my head, "Father is dead because of me."

"Odin is still alive." Gimli informed him.

Thor's head shot up, "He lives?"

"Yes, he is in early sleep, but Loki is using this time to cause chaos and instability. We need you, Asgard needs you." Sif insisted, "but we must hurry, he may already be aware that we disregarded orders in coming here."

At this point I had been staring out the window and in seeing a huge funnel cloud appear out in the desert, I spoke up timidly, "Uh…guys, I think someone definitely has."

I had no idea, who Loki was or what was coming but seeing that shape out in the clear sky gave me the worst feeling of fear and dread.

_Oh shit._

**Author's Note: okay there was the teaser. If you like it and want more, review and next chap will be longer.**

**Okay, not entirely accurate but I have only seen the movie once. Plus, for my story, and what I wanna do with it, I am taking artistic liberties. I may correct it after I have seen the movie five more times.**

**Okay love me.**

**EDIT: Okay I spelled Wesley wrong, it is corrected to Westley as it was in Princess Bride, which is what I was going for. Thank you Ravyn Jane for pointing that out!**


	2. Curse You Unconsciousness!

**Disclaimer: I am not a Norse Goddess, nor do I own any of them or any of their friends. Tragic, I know.**

**Author's Note: Haha! Yay! I love you guys. You have made my day, thanks so much for the swift response, I feel loved and that I am not alone on this crazy ship. DejectedBlithe, rebel-bred, TheInvincibleKay, Hooded Crime, BloodDeathandGlory and Elegantly Simple are all the bee's knees.**

**Okay enough chatter onto the story!**

"We must get these people to safety." I could hear Thor say after we had joined most of the town out in the street, my eyes stayed fixed on what I was sure was a sign of coming doom.

"You must come with us and fight." Gimli/Volstagg said to the blonde hunkmeister.

"I can't," he admitted, "I am mortal now, and I would only slow you down or get you killed. It is important that we defend these people, they are strange but they need our protection."

They all looked in complete acceptance, and I guessed that they really did care for the guy if they would travel through an Einstein-rose-something bridge, or whatever Jane had called it, to see him and were willing to do whatever he said.

"We'll fend off the guardian." The ninja declared, "Fandral, you help Thor shepherd these people."

Pretty Boy nodded as Xena, Gimli and the Jet Li-Wannabe bowed their heads in respect to Thor and walked out.

"We need to hurry." Thor said, looking at the metal beast that I could see at the edge of town.

"Oh yeah," I agreed, as the five of us exited as well and began walking through town. I had no problems with any plan that got us as far away from the humongously terrifying metal beast.

As Thor and Jane began evacuating the diner and Erik headed in the opposite direction, I grabbed Westley's hand, heading towards the grocery store, "Come on Mr. Dashing, they've got that end of town."

Fandral quirked up his eyebrow in such an adorable expression it made me wanna kiss him, but we had bigger fish to fry as we began yelling and advising the citizens of my beloved Nowhere,New Mexicotown to run for their lives.

People started screaming as the so-called guardian or whatever it was began charging through town and torching the place. Every once in awhile I would see one of the Norse God Warriors charging the beast and be sent flying a moment later. I wasn't the only one because in between the running and the yelling and the generally being terrified, I would catch a look on my evacuation companion's face and it was one of great pain as he tried to not join in on the fight.

We were helping one of the towns people load some children and supplies into a van when I heard the she-warrior scream. I looked up just in time to see her crash into a store front, as the glass shattered behind her.

This was more than Westley could take as I heard him mutter, "That's enough."

He turned to me as I finished strapping a nine year-old in and said, "Hold this."

He handed me a crate of food he'd been loading and started to take off in the direction of the fight. If I had had any doubts that they were gods it was eradicated when I felt the weight of the box no mortal could lift and dropped it in the van as quickly as I could, shutting the door behind it, urging the driver to take off.

"Wait!" I yelled to the Carrey Elwes look-alike, taking off after him.

"I have to help them." He told me, unsheathing his weapon.

"You have to help me." I told him, catching up and attempting to keep pace.

"My duty is to my people." He replied stubbornly, looking attractive as he brooded.

"Nuh uh, your duty is to Thor and he wants you to help these people." I said out of nowhere, saying whatever I could to get him to stop heading towards the death machine. Okay, I didn't know him but it seemed almost criminal to send such an attractive man to battle against such an almost indestructible enemy. The way I saw it I was protecting one of the universe's prettiest assets.

Fandral paused and it took me a second to realize he'd stop walking so I had to turn around to face him when I finally stopped.

"You are right." He told me, chagrinned and hanging his head, "though I wish it was not so."

"Everybody does, hon," I assured him jokingly as I tried to hide my relief that I'd gotten him off of battle mode.

The gorgeous blonde before me scrunched up his pretty blue eyes and looked on me carefully before finally saying, "You humans are strange creatures, though I guess not so different from us after all."

"Um thanks? Should I take that as a compliment?" I asked making the mistake of forgetting where I was because as Fandral looked up at me with an adorable grin as he was about to respond, I felt a huge weight press into my back as I was thrown into my warrior companion and hurled across the street.

In the confusion of flying through the air, I was barely aware of him shifting positions with me so that it was his back that would take the onslaught of crash. Before I could think on what a sweet gesture that was, the two of us crashed through the front of the movie rental store. I was only aware of some pain and his arms wrapped around me as I blacked out which I thought vaguely was a horrid way to spend any amount of time slammed up against a dreamboat, even if he might be from another world or actually crazy instead.

_I don't think I actually care either way._

**Author's Note: and drama! Okay I promise this is a fun little romantic comedy fic but yeah it has a little hurt/comfort and of course some drama (this is Thor we are talking about and it was a fairly epic and dramatic movie).**

**Okay there is more, now give me lots of love and reviews and I will be back just as quickly, if not, well there might a wait. -Cackles evilly-**

**No seriously reviews quite literally equal inspiration and updates in my book.**

**Hope to see you guys again soon!**

****EDIT: Okay I spelled Wesley wrong, it is corrected to Westley as it was in Princess Bride, which is what I was going for. Thank you Ravyn Jane for pointing that out!****


	3. Engine Smarts and Hell Bread

**Disclaimer: …I am also not the amazing JMS. I am a simple Fanfiction writer who saw a serious and horrible lack in FanDarcy fics and filled a void. Sadly I do not own them.**

**Author's Note: I would just like to start this off by saying that you guys are the best. You really really are. I had no idea I would get this sort of response when I posted this. You guys have made me so happy. So ten points to .LOL, TheInvincibleKay, Elegantly Simple, AlwaysBrokenHearted, rebel-bred, elena kate hale, Flamekaat, Orochi Miho, Hooded Crime, chatnoir1, EmbersSpark and Fran (your review made me giggle. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you are enjoying it!) for sheer awesomeness. You (and Thor) have really made my week.**

**Okay now on to end the cliffhanger!**

I blinked my eyes blearily, trying to remember exactly how I ended up on the floor when the gorgeous blue eyed face of Fandral or whatever-his-name-was filled up my vision.

"Don't move, Lady Darcy," He instructed me gently.

I giggled groggily at the title. No one had ever really called me a lady before, it was adorable, I didn't tell him this though, because that was really not cool, so instead I asked, "Are we playing a game?"

"A game?" he repeated, confused, the bridge of his nose scrunching up in the most endearing fashion.

"Yeah, is the game to not move?" I elaborated, "Do I get a prize?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand," he replied gentlemanly, "You may be severely wounded. I think it's best if you stay still while I try to assess your injuries."

I pouted slightly in my semi-consciousness state, very disappointed at that news, I'd much rather be playing with this attractive Norse god.

"Well that's no fun." I complained, dazedly.

I could tell he couldn't help the grin that spread across his pretty pretty mouth as he remarked, "No, not fun at all."

I suddenly noticed the wreckage behind him of rubble, broken dvd cases and shattered glass bringing back the memory of seeing the huge metal destroyer rampage through town and being thrown across the street, I winced at the memory causing Fandral to look up at me with concern.

"Ah, that big freak out there can pack quite a punch." I commented.

"The guardian is one of Asgard's most formidable defenders." Westley informed me as he stripped off his gloves, "I need to examine and treat your injuries, may I?"

He indicated my left arm, I nodded my permission. I must have been hit pretty hard in the head because I was still too out of it figure out if I was injured for myself.

He helped me ease off my now torn jacket, _Damn, I loved that coat, _I thought with chagrin at the sight of the torn material.

I became dimly aware of my aching back and stinging pain in my arm as I moved ever so slightly to assist him. He then gingerly rolled up my sleeve as he lifted my left arm to examine it, feeling my wrist gently. I let out an involuntary hiss at the motion.

"This causes you pain?" He asked with his overly formal tongue.

"Yeah," I replied, trying not to sound like a baby, "Hurts like a son of a bitch when I try to move it."

Unfortunately it seemed as though the pain was waking my body up, filling my senses with more soreness and bruises.

"Ow." I groaned, as he put my wrist down gently.

"Does it hurt anywhere else?" He asked intently, damn it was nice to have such an attractive man fawning over me; I only wished I hadn't just been hurled through a window.

"Only about everywhere, but I don't think anything else I broken." I answered feeling out my body to see if anything else ached as bad as my arm, I furrowed my brow in concentration and was met with more pain, "Ugh, my forehead hurts."

Mr. Gorgeous Wonder Boy leaned closer and brushed my hair out of my face, which ya know, was not bad at all, he really was very nice to look at. The image was almost ruined when he pulled back his fingers and I saw that they were covered in blood. Now I am not a squeamish person, that is not what I am saying but that was a lot, and I told him so, "Damn, that's a lot of blood."

"Head injuries always bleed more, but it will be fine once we treat it." He told me in his calm manner and lovely voice as I became vaguely aware that my cute knit cap was no longer on my head, but just at that moment, I didn't care.

"Okay, there's a first aid kit back in the van," I informed him as I observed his hands fumbling at his back.

"There is no need," he said in assuring tone as he pulled out a small black leather pouch from underneath his two part capey-cloak thing and his chest plate.

"Well aren't you handy?" I noted admiringly, glad that I wouldn't have to be left alone. I watched as he undid the clasps and began sorting through it, extracting some sort of salve, something that I suppose was a gauze substitute though it looked both more durable and softer as well as long smooth looking bandages and a little bottle of what I supposed was medicine.

"Got any aspirin in there?" I asked weakly, I was not a baby and you could never call me that to my face and not get slapped but whether or not my wrist was actually broken or just sprained didn't matter, it hurt like hell.

"Aspirin?" He asked, perplexed and as adorable he looked when he didn't get something I said, it made me realize just how much he wasn't from around here.

"A pill to make the pain go away." I clarified.

"I don't have any 'pills'," he replied, clearly unfamiliar with the term, "But I do have ingen smerte(*), we use in the healing rooms back on Asgard to numb pain."

He held up the small vial of light purple liquid he had pulled out of their equivalent of a first aid kit.

"That sounds great, give me some of the 'engine smart'." I suggested holding out my uninjured right hand to take it from him. He was a thoughtful gentleman who not only didn't correct me butchering his language but also took off the lid for me as I hadn't actually figured out how to take off the cap one-handed without looking like an idiot.

"Thank you." I said before downing a swig of it and handing it back to Pretty Boy Westley. It tasted sweet, kind of like grapes and something else I had never tasted before. I felt its effects almost instantly, the stinging fire of my forehead calmed while my wrist felt numb, but I didn't mind in the slightest, "Wow, that stuff is good, it doesn't hurt at all anymore. It numbed it instantly, like magic."

"Most of what we can do has been viewed as magic by your kind." Fandral said with a twinkle in his eye as he wiped off the blood I could feel coming from the cut that didn't hurt anymore, "Our medicines are the finest of all of the realms, our people live for many many years without illness and any injury is healed quickly."

"Wow." I noted, concentrating on the spark in his eyes as he talked proudly about his people. Okay so I wasn't entirely absorbing what he was actually saying but I got the gist of it.

"This helbrede* salve, for example," he said as he dipped his fingers in the ointment and held it up for me to see, "encourages advanced healing. By applying this, your cut should heal within the hour without a scar."

He extended his fingers in a 'may I?' gesture to which I nodded my consent, true I nor any doctor had ever heard of any 'hell bread' balm but if it had been made by the same people who'd made the amazing numbing 'engine smarts' then I had absolutely no problems with it.

He moved his fingers closer, moving hair back out of the way with his other hand and warned me, "This will be cold."

"Bring it on." I directed him in my cocky manned, all too aware of the way his beautiful light blue eyes looked on me with such care and determination. He didn't have quite the intense baby blues that Thor had but they were still enough to almost make me forget my name when he looked at me like that.

The cream was a little cool but also smooth and I could already feel it starting to work as he put a bandage over the injury so that the salve could do its job.

"There," he noted with some satisfaction with his work, "now onto your wrist."

But before he could treat it I heard over the crashing of the Destroyer wreaking havoc Jane yelling, sounding timid and afraid, "Darcy?"

Then the booming accented voice of the god of thunder, "Fandral! Darcy!"

And while I was completely infatuated with the man tending to me, I'm not gonna lie, with his accent and how deep his voice is, Thor saying my name (Dahsee) kinda made me swoon.

"Here, Thor!" Fandral called obediently to his lord's call.

"Just look for a two person sized hole and broken glass!" I called, maybe not so helpful but, hey, I may be injured but that can't take my spunk away.

"Oh thank God." Jane said, breathless with what I could tell was worry, "We got everyone out and then we couldn't find you."

I waved my uninjured hand as Jane made her way in through the hole we made while Thor remained mostly outside, I suppose to keep watch, "Cool your jets, Jane, we're fine, their big metal buddy just felt that we'd be better placed in the middle of the movie rental store."

She made her way through the broken glass before she crouched on the other side of me. Yeah we weren't best friends or like sisters but we'd grown fond of each other over the past while I'd been working for her, I was touched by her concern.

"Is she okay?" The astrophysicist asked the warrior as he unraveled a roll of bandages to make a wrap for my wrist.

"She received a gash on her forehead that should be healed soon and it seems as though her wrist may be broken." He informed her, taking my hand.

"So she'll be fine?" Jane double checked as she was a scientist who loved cold hard facts.

"Oh you betcha, he gave me some real top notch 'engine smarts' and 'hell bread' or whatever they were called." I said, reveling in the feeling of Fandral taking care of me as he wrapped the bandage nice and tight around my injured hand.

Jane shot me a confused look before leaning closer to Falrand or whatever the pretty blonde's name was. Sure I was falling head-over-heels for the guy but he had a damn confusing name. Jane whispered to him, "Did she get brain damage when she cut her head?"

"Shush," I implored swatting at her with my other hand, "that's not what they were called but I don't know Norwegian or Swedish or Polish or whatever language those words were, all I know is that they worked."

Westley smiled indulgently, at me, making me swoon quietly to myself, "I believe she is referring to the numbing solution and the healing balm I administered. She was treated with Asgardian medicine. I was about to give her some more to help accelerate the process of mending the bones in her hand if you like to see for yourself."

Jane nodded, always interested in new discoveries. By this point Mr. Dashing had finished securing my wrap and patted my hand gently as he put it back down. He then retrieved a small little light blue cube of who knew what in a small clear case. He took it out of its wrapping and handed it to me which I took readily, I had broken my arm once with I was 13 and it was not fun running around with a wrap then a cast for about a month and a half, if this could cut down the healing process I was definitely game.

This one felt slightly spongy on my tongue, and though it sounds weird, it tasted like a clear blue sky might taste. When I'd swallowed it I inquired of my Norse medic, "how long will it take for my arm to heal?"

"It should be well by the end of the day." He responded packing his super magic first aid kit away and tucking it back in his belt.

"Score! Well I am definitely a fan of your doctors." I said smiling easing myself up to a more upright position.

Jane looked as if she was about to ask Fandral a question but then Thor entered the wreck of the store, looking down at us from so high up, he might as well be on top of the Empire's State Building. Goodness, he was tall.

"Can she move?" he asked of his friend.

"Yes, I believe so." He answered, his eyebrows furrowing as he sensed the tension emanating from his leader, "Why?"

"Because we must leave," Thor answered without great detail.

"Then we shall." He replied as he rose to his feet with ease and Jane returned to a standing position. I looked down at my wrist as I tried to figure out how exactly I was supposed to get up without hurting it when suddenly the ground vanished from beneath me and I felt strong arms holding me. I craned my neck to see the Boy Wonder's face in close detail, distracted momentarily by his piercing eyes and his ridiculous Robin Hood goatee.

After what seemed like an hour, though was probably only a couple seconds, of just staring at him like a gape-mouthed idiot, I finally regained my senses and quipped, "You know, I am pretty sure I can walk."

"Right." He said shockingly ineloquent, "Pardon me, I assumed you needed my assistance."

He then lowered my legs so I could stand, but my arms were still wrapped around his neck, "Oh no, I appreciate it but you know, gotta make sure my legs work right."

He nodded almost seeming flustered as I reluctantly let him go and almost disproved me as my legs felt my full weight and I buckled slightly. Before I could wobble or return to the ground unceremoniously, he rather gallantly caught me around the waist. I blushed, "Ah, sorry, caught myself off-guard. I think I can still walk."

Though I wanted to tell him to never let me go and to whisk me into the sunset, I knew I had to try to walk as I could tell Thor's impatience began to boil under the surface at my slow speed.

"You can let me go now." I told him against my wishes.

He removed one arm but kept the other around my back to help support me even as I swayed slightly. Sure a girl's gotta have some pride but there was absolutely no complaining from my camp about letting an attractive man help me out after being hurled into a glass window. I was glad my legs weren't injured drastically though my whole body was sore from being hit. I later realized in hindsight, that if Fandral hadn't softened my fall I probably would have been a lot worse off then I was.

So in a slightly awkward manner, pretty Westley helped me make my way through the busted wall as we followed Thor and Jane out into the street. With all of the people gone, it was eerily quiet as we picked our way through rubble down the street.

"Jane! Darcy! Thank goodness I found you!" Erik yelled from a small street to the side of us and joined us, "You had me worried."

"We're going to be fine." Jane assured her uncle figure.

"Let's find the others." Thor insisted as we carried on in the direction of the main street of town. We had just rounded the corner when we saw the Gimli guy barely avoid being blasted by the metal giant. The Sif/Xena chick impaled him with her spear but it seemed to have very little effect. I could feel Fandral tense beside me as he watched his friends in such danger.

"My Lord," he whispered urgently to Thor, "Please let me help fight, we must end this."

"No." Thor commanded in his imposing voice, "You must protect these three, I must do this."

"Thor, no." Fandral was saying urgently, sounding horrified, "you said it yourself that it would kill you. You are mortal now."

"I know," the gorgeous god of thunder replied grimly, "I'm the one Loki wants, I can't have anyone else die for me."

I hadn't realized he had been holding Jane's hand until I saw him squeeze it before letting go and heading in the direction of the fire-happy metal monster. Jane looked panicked and made to follow him but Fandral stopped her, and said intently, "This is his will. We must let him go."

"No!" She insisted, "that thing will kill him."

"He knows," Westley replied solemnly, clearly grieved by his friends' decision.

And so we watched as the beautiful blonde god walked alone, solemn and proud to aid his friends and I would have been lying if I said I didn't tear up. Fandral squeezed my waist in comfort.

_Stupid crazy noble tall hottie,_ I thought a little chaotically with bitterness, _does he have to look so good just walking? That man is gonna break Jane's heart._

**Author's Note: **

***Ingen smerte- Norwegian for no pain**

***Helbrede- Norwegian for heal**

**okay there is another chapter! I really am whipping these out fast huh?**

**And look! This one is at least twice as long as the past two! It's longer than the last two combined! This is what happens when I get 20 reviews in about 40 hours. I write more.**

**So if you would like more FanDarcy adorableness, let me know by leaving a review! They make me so happy and happiness=inspiration=more story.**

**So yeah!**

**Hope to see ya soon!**

**P.S. The movie Thor quietly ships FanDarcy!**

**Big shout out to cloudgirl9 for pointing it out to me but in the scene when they all return to the bifrost mark and Thor is yelling for Heimdall to open the bridge, if you look behind Thor to the right, Fandral and Darcy are next to each other freaking holding hands.**

**Oh my freaking mighty giraffe.**

**I totally didn't catch it the first time but thanks to her heads up before I saw it again today I totally saw it this time!**

**They show them again for another second in the background right after the portal is opened and the warriors are returning, you can see Fandral walking forward, still holding her hand before letting it go.**

**It is only a couple seconds blurry in the background but every time I remember it I squee and do a happy dance and I just had to let you guys know of this exciting development so you can keep your eyes open for it.**

**Okay, enough of my freaking out, please review!**

****EDIT: Okay I spelled Wesley wrong, it is corrected to Westley as it was in Princess Bride, which is what I was going for. Thank you Ravyn Jane for pointing that out!****


	4. MewMew to the Rescue

**Disclaimer: I am also not Odin, king of awesomeness and as such I don't own any of the characters or places of Thor, just this plot.**

**Author's Note: Huzzah! I am back! I have officially updated once a day since I saw the movie. Woot!**

**Okay, you guys are amazing. I would hug every single one of you if I could. You all make my days/mornings/nights so much better and I love you all! Credit where credit is due, this chapter is brought to you by rebel-bred, Hooded Crime, chatnoir1 (you three are some of my favorites), Andy Lauren, Esmerelda Dian Parker, DitzyBrunette89, cloudlake, TheInvincibleKay RWBRyan (cuz reviews make me write more! you totally made me laugh out loud, and here is the next chapter), JediPrincess-Knight (yay! my stalker found another story of mine!), and Ravyn Jane (- thank you so much. You made me very happy. I am so happy that this story was here for you and this amazing ship, you rock and you were right about Westley, whoops, my mistake! All chapters are fixed now, thank you!). you guys are wonderful people, now stay and keep saying such beautiful things to me.**

**Onward!**

Watching him more intently than I had ever watched any TV show, we saw Thor go to his friends and advise them to leave, they looked like they didn't want to seem cowards but desperately needed a break from the beating they'd undergone the last 10 or so minutes. I didn't blame them. If I was aching like hell from a single toss, I couldn't imagine how sore they were, but they held themselves proudly.

Xena and the Karate kid helped Gimli up from where he'd been hurled onto a car and supported him over to where we were. Westley grasped Jet Li Wannabe's arm once as they passed and stood on the other side of me.

"Thor told us to go back to Asgard." The beautifully fierce chick, who was unfortunately named Sif, said to the man who was still supporting me.

"No!" Jane yelled, she'd been trying to hold it together but it was more than she could take to just watch the man she'd actually started developing feelings for just walk towards certain death. She tried again to stop him rushing forward but Erik put both hands on her shoulders and held her in place, "Please, I have to go! I can't let him die."

"Jane, please, I promised your dad I'd take care of you after he died. Please don't do this." Erik pleaded, this horrible fear in his eyes I had never seen before.

I turned my gaze back to the stupid noble fool on his death walk, trying to ignore what a great ass he had, and instead focusing on the warrior who held me and what Thor was doing. It looked like he was talking though there wasn't anyone around besides the Destroyer.

"Who's he talking to?" I wondered aloud.

"His brother, Loki." Fandral answered, eyes glued on his friend and leader, worry lining his face.

"But he's not here." I pointed out, confused.

"He's speaking through the guardian." Westley explained tensely, "he who commands the creature can see and hear everything it can."

"Handy." I surmised, those Asgardians thought of everything. "But I don't get it, why is Lucky sending a killing machine after his brother?"

"Loki is a cunning and clever man. He and his brother have a close bond but Loki has always been envious of Thor's power and influence." The Dashing Warrior told me, probably only skimming the surface of Thor's family history, "With All Father out of commission, he is using the opportunity to rid himself of his biggest competition. Loki knows that if Thor returns to Asgard, the throne will never be his."

"Whoa, wait, back up!" I interjected, "Thor is prince of where you guys come from?"

"Yes, he is the first-born son of Odin, King of Asgard, and therefore heir to the throne." Robin Hood's Norse twin told me though I could tell he was mostly focusing on Thor, wishing he could hear what was being said.

I took this as my cue to stop talking and instead joined the others in silent observation on the gorgeously tall apparent Prince. Yeah, it was going to take me awhile to get over that information. I knew that his friends respected and cared for him but I had no idea it had anything to do with him being heir to the freaking throne. Wow. Well Thor certainly was regal enough.

I was snapped out of this train of thought by the Destroyer powering up a massive amount of flames and it took everything I had to not scream. As it was, I clutched at Fandral tighter with the arm I had wrapped around his shoulders. Then, inexplicably, the fire died and it seemed as though the creature was contemplating, turning away slightly, almost as if it was about to leave. And just as my hopes began to raise at such an impossible likelihood, reality crashed into me as the aptly named Destroyer brought it's arm back and slammed it into Thor sending him flying to land about 60 feet from us, before it changed directions and began walking back towards the edge of town the way it came.

"NO!" Jane screamed in a way that pained my heart as she finally broke away from Erik's protective stance and through wreckage to the fallen warrior.

I was too far away to see but even from here Thor looked to be in bad shape. He had a long gash across his chest and his face looked bloodied up too. It was a horrifying thing to see. I realized with a start that this might be what I would've looked like if that thing had hit me full-on and I hadn't had Westley to land on, I shuddered at realizing how close I had come to biting it earlier. Fandral tightened his hold on me in a comforting gesture and I was grateful for it. Watching Jane, the brilliant harebrained scientist who while eccentric was normally controlled and kept her emotions in check, crying over this wonderfully huge guy who was probably dying, was almost more than I could stand. When she started crying in earnest, I buried my face into Fandral's leather-claded armored shoulder, because I couldn't take anymore of it. It was obvious that he and the other warriors were shaken up by it, but by their very title they were accustomed to war and death, and were therefore handling it better than us mere mortals. Seeking to comfort me, the Dashing Dreamboat brought up his other arm and began stroking my hair. He didn't say anything but just the gesture helped quell some of the sadness I felt at my friend's loss.

Okay, so maybe I didn't know Thor all that well but I had never seen anyone die before and it was just so traumatic, seeing him being thrown through the air like that. And I knew, without a doubt that he had died to save us, though probably more specifically, Jane. Through the small amount of time that Thor had spent with Jane they managed to develop a close bond. Even if they didn't love each other yet, which I strongly suspected that they did, they cared a great deal for each other as evidenced by his final act and the way for the first time since I met her over a year ago, she finally let everything she was feeling out.

Sniffing, I brought my face out of Fandral's armor so I could breathe properly, and it was as I did so that I heard a faint pop. Looking around for the source of the noise I saw something flying in the sky from the direction of the satellite's crater.

"Oh my god," I whispered, as a theory began forming in my head about what the object that was hurling itself through the sky in our direction.

I was vaguely aware of Westley and his fellow warriors reverting from their head-bowed solemnity and focusing instead on the incoming object. Erik edged closer and squinted at what I was positive was Thor's hammer. He may have been the one who knew most about Norse mythology, but he still wasn't quite sure what it was, "What is that?"

"MewMew." I responded with my nickname for Thor's legendary hammer, because I am sorry if I am mispronouncing every name that the Asgardians come up with but their language is just too confusing. I mean Mjolnir, really? MewMew is much easier.

Erik shot a suddenly worried glance at me before looking back at the hammer that was according to legend so heavy that only Thor could lift it and was zooming straight towards Thor and Jane and she grieved over him.

"Oh no, Jane!" Erik said urgently building up volume as he ran forward. He grabbed Jane and pulled her up and away from Thor's body. Jane began protesting, unwilling to leave him as Erik got her farther away.

I personally think he got her away just in time because just when they were about 15 feet away the hammer reached its owner as Thor's hand inexplicably shot up and caught it.

"Oh. My. God." I breathed, tears dried and nearly forgotten as he rose almost instantly to his feet, with bright light and lightning cackling around him.

In the back of my massively preoccupied mind I noticed the metal monster at the edge of town turning back around, but I was a little too busy ogling Thor's blinding lightning resurrection.

While it became far too bright for me after a minute and I had to shield my eyes by burying my face in the leather of Fandral's arm, the four Asgard Warriors maintained a steady, awestruck gaze at the return of their leader's power. When I saw the light dim from the corner of my closed eyelids, I finally looked back up to see the painfully attractive God of Thunder in all of his resurrected, armor-wearing, hammer-wielding glory, looking ready to kick some Destroyer butt.

That or make girls everywhere swoon, not sure.

I giggled, happier than I thought I'd be that he wasn't dead as he turned around to take out the enemy.

_Now, __**that **__is what I call a comeback!_

**Author's Note: BAM! Angst. Angst. Drama. Drama. Wawoo. Hooray for MewMew! **

**Thor is awesome. I love him. But I love Fandral more. Hee hee.**

**Okay, you know the drill, I get loads of feedback you get a new chapter tomorrow. **

**If not, well my inspiration might halt and die. So stop the muse abuse and tell me what you think!**


	5. And There Was A Mighty Metal Ass Kicking

**Disclaimer: …nor am I actually Darcy writing a journal. None of these people are mine which is sad but true.**

**Author's Note: I would just like to say that I think I have some of the best reviewers on Fanfiction. You guys are amazing. You all inspire me to write. It may be my great great love for Fandral or my FanDarcy shipping heart but all of you guys giving me more reviews in a day than I've gotten on at least half of my stories has inspired me to update more frequently than I ever have. You guys are incredible. My muses for this chapter are: BloodDeathandGlory, EmbersSpark, Elegantly Simple, DitzyBrunette89, JediPrincess-Knight, Esmerelda Diana Parker, rebel-bred, Andy Lauren, cloudlake, chatnoir1, Hooded Crime, thunder sister, TeamAroPickle, and TheInvincibleKay. You guys astound me.**

**Okay enough gushing here is And There Was A Mighty Ass Kicking.**

I would be lying if I said that I was not impressed by the sheer power Thor exhibited when battling the Destroyer. I mean wow. True I didn't catch all of it, there was a great deal of inhumanly fast spinning of the hammer and Thor flying and going faster than I could track, but still, the man was amazing. I clutched at Fandral's arm, mouth open and transfixed during the entire manly display. When Thor was propelling himself up in the sky creating a ring of clouds around himself and his foe it wasn't exactly easy to see what was happening but I saw spurts of fire from the metal guardian and could just hear Thor yelling in manly wordless spurts over the thunder and the wind.

And before I could think long about sneaking off and making popcorn for the spectacle Thor was pummeling the thing into the ground nearby, victorious and resplendent.

Jane and Erik, who were closer made it to him first and I could hear Jane saying as me and the warriors got closer, "Is this how you normally look?"

Thor, semi-modestly responding something along the lines of "Generally."

And for once Jane said what I was thinking, "Well, it's a good look."

I resisted the urge to giggle at her flustered state as Gimli, Jet Li's sullen cousin, and Sif rushed forward to grasp arms and pat him on the back, praising his courage and skill while celebrating his return. I looked up at Westley to see him looking on wistfully.

"Go on." I told him, motioning with my head towards the rest of the warriors of Asgard.

"Are you sure? I can stay if you still need my assistance." He insisted, gentlemanly and sweet.

I regretfully unwound my arm from around his shoulders and took a step back, less sore than I had been when I stood, the 'hell bread' obviously doing its job, "I'm sure. Go."

With another hesitant look at me, the pretty boy let go of me and went and gave Thor a big hug. I tested my footing and was pleased that I wasn't about to fall on my ass and look like a fool in front of everyone, but missing the warmth and support of my own personal protector.

I must have been so distracted by Thor and his merry band reveling that I didn't notice the not-so-shiny black car coming until the unpleasant S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent popped out and began to call for Thor's attention.

"Oh great." I muttered rolling my eyes.

"You know this man?" the Asian dude I think is named Hogun asked as all eight eyes of the Asgardians fell on me.

"Uh yeah. Only met him the once and he seemed like a stick in the mud." I answered and saw them all wearing similar looks of confusion, so I clarified, "You know, not that nice, loves rules."

They all nodded in understanding, and Fandral who was gradually moving closer asked, "What makes you say that?"

"He stole my iPod." I answered before remembering that they had no idea what an iPod was so I just held up my hands in a sign to not ask, "Never mind. I'm sure he was just following orders and he's a great guy and means you all no harm."

They all eased their stiff postures, as I relaxed my hands feeling a slight twinge from my possibly broken left wrist, and took in a sharp breath.

Sif caught the sound and my bandaged hand, "Were you injured?"

"Yup," I nodded turning to look at the ruins of the metal warrior, pointing, "War wound. The toaster* over there didn't play fair. But I'll be fine, your good ole' buddy Fandral here bandaged me up nice and good."

When I looked back I just caught Xena, Gimli and Jet Li Wannabe giving Westley teasingly suggestive looks to which he responded with an embarrassed 'knock it off' face. It was adorable. And very very encouraging too.

Before I could say anything about what I'd seen, I heard Thor and Jane come to a conclusion with the special agent as Coulson went back to the car and began talking to his cohorts, fading to the background of my notice.

Turning his back on the dusty-suited man, the incredibly tall and impressive champion returned to his friends with Jane close by his side and proclaimed in his booming voice, "Come now, we must return to Asgard!"

The warriors, especially the one who was unfortunate enough to be named Volstagg, harrumphed in agreement.

Then Thor turned to Jane and said in an incredibly attractive voice looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered in all the realms, "Would you like to see the bridge for yourself?"

Jane nodded a fervent agreement, too wowed to speak.

"Then let us go!" Thor yelled grabbing hold of the astrophysicist around the waist, swinging his hammer and launching into the air towards the portal.

"Show off!" I shouted after him with a smile, not too bitter, as they rose farther and farther away from us I looked around, "Now how are we supposed to get there? We're not all Air Thor."

Though obviously none of them understood that reference, Xena, spoke up offering what to her seemed the most obvious solution, "As we have no horses, we simply must return the way we came: on foot."

I looked to the West where Thor and Jane had gone and saw the formidable storm clouds still hovering over a spot that seemed impossible to reach by foot.

"Ha ha. No." I objected, I may be healing but there was no way I could walk that far today. Especially not in these shoes.

"Then what would you suggest?" the taller Gimli asked, still being supported by Jet Li Wannabe. Yeah, I didn't think he, despite being a warrior, could take the long distance either and was glad he kinda seemed to be supporting me.

"How about we drive?" I asked pointing behind him to the large science equipment van parked outside of our lab.

_Oh yeah, this would be interesting._

**Author's Note: Hee hee. I adore these people. It is such a kick to write. I love Darcy.**

**And I will be seeing Thor for the third time tomorrow. So I will squeeing over the three seconds of handholding for the next three days.**

**Hee hee. FanDarcy for the win!**

**Okay, you know the drill, lots fo love=new chapter tomorrow.**

**Okay love you guys, I hope to see ya soon!**

**-Fin**


	6. Car Rides and Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: …nor however much I would like to be, any of the contributors on any comic series featuring Thor. I just play in other people's playgrounds with their attractive people.**

**Author's Note: We are close to the end!**

**However bittersweet I feel about this being the second to last chapter, I have had the most wonderful time with you guys. The people who supported me through reviews to write this one are: Aria DeLoncray, AlwaysBrokenHearted, TheInvincibleKay, chatnoir1, Andy Lauren, cloudlake, JudeIx, DitzyBrunette89, Esmerelda Diana Parker. kaptainmad, EmbersSpark, JediPrincess-Knight, Lightning Skies, rebel-bred, thunder sister, , MarillaT'Pel, and BEE.**

**You guys are amazing. Thank you all.**

**Okay, onward!**

The van ride to the portal site of what Fandral had told me was called the bifrost, was interesting to say the least. This van was not what one would ever presume to call a passenger van. It was full of equipment and didn't have that many seats. We shoved what we could out and left it at our lab but realized that the van's interior would only seat five.

After a moment of Erik and I explaining that having the back doors open and Volstagg dragging his feet behind was not a good idea, Gimli decided that since he was so tough he could ride on the roof. At this point I was too tired to care and besides what with us going to be doing government research soon, any cops that might through some fluke see us probably would be told not to give us a ticket. So instead I watched with slight amusement as Fandral and Hogun launched Volstagg onto the roof before we all climbed in.

Erik drove. My arm may be having some accelerated healing but I was still too sore to drive. Sif sat up with him in the front seat staring with mild fascination at all the knobs and buttons, which I found amusing. We'd pulled back up the bench in the back and the side-facing, single seat in the middle from their compartments in the floor. Mr. Ninja Assassin thankfully took the single seat, leaving me to cuddle… hee hee…um sit with the Dreamboat Ken Doll: Robin Hood Edition.

We didn't discuss it or anything but I found myself leaning against his broad shoulder for the entire 8 minute drive. Oh I did not mind this at all. Hogun predominantly talked with Xena and Erik throughout the ride, though he turned back around and joked with Westley from time to time. Some far corner of my mind realized that Fandral would be leaving and that I should take this small amount of time to learn everything I could about him, but every time I was about to say something I changed my mind. It all sounded so insignificant and unimportant, and while that made up the majority of what I say all of the time, just now, I couldn't bring myself to say it. These moments were more real to me than my entire life and I couldn't waste it with talking about useless things. So I just contented myself with the feel of him beside me and looking up at his face.

Looking at him reminded me of all of the hours I spent when I was younger watching the Princess Bride and staring up at Cary Elwes's Westley and fantasizing about one day finding a Westley of my own. It seemed almost crazy that I had, even if he was actually a god figure from another world.

About halfway there, during one of the brief moments when I was staring out the window at the passing desert, Fandral reached his hand up to my forehead and said quietly, "Your wound should be healed by now."

I looked up at him, meeting his intense gaze, seeing affection in his eyes I had never dreamed of ever seeing in a guy like him. After a second I realized he was waiting for a reply while I was struggling to remember how to speak English, so I kinda stammered out, "Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks."

I reached my hand up and began feeling around the edges of the secure bandage, getting ready to take it off, when the Norse Robin Hood covered my hand with his, stopping my fumbling.

"Let me." He said softly, making me want to melt into a little puddle.

I dropped my hand when he let it go and tried really hard not to drool at the look of devotion he wore as he carefully peeled the bandage off. Another definite improvement over Earthen medicinal products that Asgard had was that their bandages stuck very well without falling off but came off so smoothly without hair ripping and pain; which I greatly appreciated as it allowed me not to shriek like a little girl in front of the guy I liked.

He folded the bloodied bandage and put it aside before returning his attention to my forehead. He stroked the spot where the gash had been once and said softly, "All healed."

Even though he said it would heal within the hour I knew I wouldn't fully believe it 'til I experienced it myself. Warily, I moved my right hand up to the spot that still tingling from the touch of his hand. To my amazement, he had told the truth. The area was just as baby smooth as it had been the day before. It was amazing.

"Wow. I have got to get me some of that salve. That's incredible." I breathed, running my fingers over my forehead repeatedly, still astounded to find nothing there nor any sign that anything ever had been.

"We do have the best healing technology." Pretty Boy told me with a smile, his hand coming up and stroking my hair almost tentatively, as if he were nervous about making such a forward gesture.

Let me tell you, I really really didn't mind. Sitting snuggled up against him, despite the stiffness of his armor, and having him look at me like the guys in the movies always looked at girls they liked, I had never felt safer or warmer or more loved in my life.

But my happy lovey-dovey high was brought down by Erik putting the van in park and announcing, "We're here."

As if waking from a dream I sat up straight, suddenly feeling an intense sense of dread. I didn't want to get out of that van, I didn't want to walk out there to the mark in the sand and escort the warriors back to their homeland. I wanted to grab Fandral by the shoulders and never stop kissing him. I had the strange desire to hold onto him so tight and stuff him in my closet so he wouldn't leave.

But I didn't do any of that. I followed Hogun out of the back of the van because I was a big girl and I should've known better than to get attached so quickly. I should've known from the second I saw Fandral that this could never work out.

But I didn't.

I was head over heels. I almost resented these intense feelings. Almost.

When we had all exited the vehicle and Volstagg had dismounted the roof, Westley came to my side and took my hand. No, I didn't regret it. I'll just face what comes next as it comes. I focused instead on how dashing and complete he looked when he smiled. I zeroed in on the feel of his still gloveless hand against mine, how warm he was and how fast my heart was beating in response.

Thor smiled at our group when we were still a little ways off before turning and getting closer to the mark the bifrost had burned into the earth and began yelling, "Heimdall! Open the bifrost! Heimdall?"

"Heimdall?" I asked quietly.

"The Gatekeeper. Heimdall operates the bifrost." Fandral explained to me as we continued closer.

Sif was unfortunately named but currently tense, "Something is wrong. He should have opened the portal by now."

"I don't like it." Hogun announced grimly.

"It's probably Loki." Fandral assessed gravely, "He may not let us through."

"And what would that mean?" I asked, put on edge by all of their tension.

"We would be stranded here." Xena summed up.

I bit my lip, silently thinking that it would not be the worst thing in the world. I could hardly wrap my head around the concept of Fandral leaving but the idea of him staying forever… I had to stop that train of thought. I was well aware that that idea was pretty much impossible but I still couldn't help but wish for it, knowing it would be heaven on Earth.

As clouds began forming above us, Thor took Jane's hand and kissed it again, I could hear them making more deals, him promising to come back and it made me feel very weepy all of a sudden.

I sniffed unconsciously making Fandral to turn his beautiful eyes on me, and saying in such a strong and assuring manner that I almost believed him, "We will return."

"I know." I insisted, though I had this gut feeling that they wouldn't, thankful that my voice was normal and chipper and not sounding weepy at all, "I just think I'm going to miss you."

"Though I have known for naught but an afternoon, I feel very close to you. I too shall miss your presence while I am in Asgard, Lady Darcy." Fandral told me in his wonderful lilting voice with such eloquence and sincerity.

He grabbed the hand he held with his other hand, facing me. And something about the caring, heartfelt look on his face made something in me snap. Before I could change my mind, I moved forward, closing the distance, holding his face with my healing hand. Fortunately, Fandral was a clever man and took the initiative from there, bringing up one of his hands to caress my face as well as our lips met.

His lips were fire and I was melting where we met. It felt like the opposite of the engine smarts, or whatever it was, through which my body cooled and my senses quieted, numbing the pain. In his kiss, my body woke up. I could feel everything with much more vibrancy than before. I could feel fire in my toes and fingertips, my lips practically flames as his crashed against mine with the same urgency I felt. I could feel the scruff of his Robin Hood goatee, but it didn't bug me, it helped serve as a reminder that it was him actually him I was kissing and that this was all real.

With great disappointment we broke apart, realizing that our time was limited and there was so much I wanted to say but simply couldn't remember anymore.

My own personal Westley found his mind first and maintained our close quarters, his left hand still holding my right, and whispered to me urgently, "I will return, Lady Darcy, I promise you this."

"I'll be waiting," I assured him earnestly, my emotions running much higher now. Somehow kissing him had made it all more real and I felt that much worse about him leaving, if that were possible. Above us, the growing clouds began to multiply in size as they began rotating.

"Get ready." Sif warned, breaking us out of the little world of our own we had slipped into.

I tried to fight the tears as Fandral began walking towards the others, squeezing my hand tightly once before letting it go and joining the other three warriors by Thor next to the portal site, preparing for the bridge to be opened. As Fandral passed Thor to stand next to the others, Thor put a hand on his shoulder, and said something I couldn't hear.

Fandral interjected something fervently, seeming to be upset. In a brief bout of paranoia, I worried that Thor was criticizing Fandral for his affections for me. I felt suddenly angry and indignant about something I wasn't even sure was real. If Thor was getting down on my guy for liking a human when I had just seen him exchanging saliva with one, I was going to hit him with my shoe. One of the pointy ones.

Westley responded defensively, only adding fuel to my irrational theory.

When Thor responded he seemed to be trying to ease Fandral. My horrid little fear suspected that he was giving him the 'plenty of fish in the sea' bit or maybe the Asgard version was 'plenty of prettier fertile females in the other eight realms'.

At this Fandral seemed more relaxed but still edgy, which I wasn't sure what to make of but I was absolutely positive wasn't good.

Then Thor seemed relieved but still very on edge. And when it looked like they had come to an agreement I feared that my almost-sorta-kinda-maybe boyfriend had just agreed never to see me again. Fandral then said something else to both Thor and the other three. Probably, 'Oh Thor just corrected the error of my ways and my stupid fling with the mortal is over and done.'

Thor then stepped onto the mark, where Sif, Volstagg and Hogun were waiting, before quite suddenly, a rainbow cyclone shot down from the center of the clouds and sucked Gimli, Jet Li Wannabe, Xena and Thor up and away to Asgard.

Surprised out of my mind, I gaped at the guy I couldn't believe I cared about too much who was still standing outside of the burn on the ground. Struggling for words I stammered out, "You're sti-still here. I-I-I thought you were leaving."

I left out that I thought he had just agreed to end whatever it was we had.

"I did too." Fendral replied simply.

"Please don't mistake this for not being happy you didn't, but what are you still doing here?" I said very quickly, my heart going into overdrive at the fact that he was still here- that he didn't leave.

"Thor asked me to." Fandral explained, coming closer, "Thor has tasked me with remaining behind and watching over your planet in his absence."

"Well God bless Thor then." Was all my shocked but sarcastic mind could come up with.

**Authors Note: BWUAHAHAHA! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT TWEAK? Hee hee!**

**Well there you have it. Oh and I have a deleted scene for this chapter, it is what Thor and Fandral were saying right before Thor and the others left which I am more than willing to post if you guys would like to read it.**

**Okay so the story is not over yet, but it is close.**

**However it does not have to be the final end. I have a sequel for this I am toying around with. I have a little written already. Here is the question however, do you want one?**

**After this story is over, should I start posting the sequel which takes place after the movie and features more Darcy/Fandral adorableness as she shows him around Earth and they start a relationship?**

**I'll ask again after I post the epilogue, but I'd like to know what you guys think and if a sequel is something you guys would actually read. Cuz if you guys don't think it'd be something you want then I don't think I'll go on.**

**But yay bittersweet! The story is almost over.**

**Next is the adorable epilogue.**

**Now, what did you think of the chapter (and my idea)?**

**Love me.**


	7. DeletedAlternate Scene

**Disclaimer: I own the plot and nothing else. Playing with other people's toys here.**

**Author's Note: I am so sorry I am so late tonight guys. I was gone literally day today. I am exhausted, sunburned, and sore but I feel like I officially embraced summer and had a fun time.**

**Okay here is the deleted scene by popular demand!**

What Thor Said to Fandral-

Darcy fought hard to not cry as Fandral began walking towards the others, squeezing my hand tightly once before letting it go as the other three warriors moved to join Thor on the portal site, preparing for the bridge to be opened. As Fandral passed Thor to stand next to the others, Thor put a hand on his shoulder, and said simply, "Stay."

"But my lord," Fandral interjecting, "I can fight I am no coward."

"I doubt neither your strength nor your courage. I simply value these people. No one in all the realms have been to earth in hundreds of years. I fear that we have opened them up to the horrors we have faced in our own lands for centuries. I need a warrior to stay here, to protect them, to look after them. And I choose you."

"Why me?" the Norse Robin Hood asked intently, clearly grateful for the assignment but still so confused.

"Because you above all the others on Asgard see the humans for what they are." Thor said showing depth he rarely showed, "I can see that you care for Darcy much like I care for Jane. I can not stay here. As Odin's heir, it is my responsibility to take Loki off the throne to protect my people. These people are simple, primitive and brash but they hold much potential. In case I do not prevail and I cannot return, I need to know that they are looked after; that my Jane will be protected. Please do this for me, my brother."

"I will." Fandral said determined but obviously worried.

"Thank you, Fandral, my old friend." Thor, said seriously but with relief clear on his face.

"Farewell." Fandral called to the Asgard warriors and Thor as he joined them on the mark.

Then, quite suddenly, a rainbow cyclone shot down from the center of the clouds and sucked Volstagg, Hogun, Sif and Thor up and away to Asgard.

Incredibly surprised, Darcy gaped at Fandral. Struggling for words she stammered out, "You're sti-still here. I-I-I-I-I thought you were leaving."

"I did too." Fandral stated simply.

**Author's Note: Okay, not much but I wanted to put it in the story but then I wanted to play with Darcy overreacting. I still think this is some important dialogue to help you guys understand things better.**

**My life has taken a turn for the busy.**

**No this is not a proper chapter but I will try to post the epilogue tomorrow before my sister's graduation.**

**I give you this deleted scene as hopefully a peace offering for my life getting so full all of a sudden.**

**Okay I love you guys, hope you like this!**

**Hopefully I will see you tomorrow with the adorable epilogue!**


	8. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: None of these peeps are mine. Only the plot.**

**Author's Note: Alas, we have come to the end of Well Aren't You the Freakiest Thing? I must say that I have had a blast writing this. I have never written this much this quickly before and I owe it to all of you guys. The ones who have stuck with me from the beginning when I wasn't sure anyone would read this and all of my lovely new followers and reviewers. You are all amazing and I wouldn't have gone this far without you. So here's to rebel-bred, Hooded Crime, chatnoir1, JediPrincess-Knight, MarillaT'Pel, PyrusAngel, thunder sister, DitzyBrunette89, zippo, EmbersSpark, Fran, cloudlake, beesting08, porpoise-song, AnnabelLee14, Sheherazade's Fable(thanks for leaving the 100****th**** review), and TheInvincibleKay as well as all of the other people I have ever mentioned up here in past chapters and everyone who has favorited and/or story alerted, you guys are amazing.**

**Okay I will gush more at the bottom. Enjoy the end of this part of the story.**

Epilogue

In the moments after Thor left in the bifrost, Fandral came to my side and we kind of just stared at each other. I'm not sure what he was thinking but over and over my mind echoed '_he's here, he's here, he's here'_ as if to enforce what my eyes could still scarcely believe.

Despite being over-the-moon happy that Robin Hood was still here, the moment was a little bittersweet.

Jane was worried out of her mind. She took to pacing and staring up at the clouds. Seeing her look so anxious almost made me feel guilty at having my fairy tale ending right next to me.

From what I could tell of Thor, he was a proud guy, very sure of himself but he seemed very nervous about going back, about facing his brother, and I have to admit, that worried me slightly.

After about twenty minutes the clouds began to thunder, not quite in the way they had before the bifrost opened but still in a way that could not be natural. Flashes of color unnatural for lightning sparked in the large, formidable clouds as they seemed to grow angrier.

"What does that mean? Is it opening up again?" Jane asked Fandral feverishly, desperate for answers.

"I don't know, I don't think so." He replied anxiously studying the clouds intently, "Sometimes if the bifrost is left open for too long to one world, it affects the clouds above the portals on other worlds."

"God! I hate this!" Jane yelled in an out of character outburst, kicking at a rock near her feet. She started pacing again around the mark.

"Should one of us attempt to console her?" Fandral asked in a really sweet gesture.

"Nah, leave her be." Erik answered in his Swedish or something similar accent, "She just needs to clear her head."

Erik walked back to the van and came back with a couple bottles of water, I could tell he needed something useful to do and keeping us hydrated was the most he could some up with.

We kept vigil at the site for hours. When three hours had passed and we hadn't eaten since before any of this started, Erik went back and got some power bars and beef jerky from the glove department. Fandral looked at the processed food warily but ate it realizing he needed the sustenance as well.

Several hours later, when my stomach was angry at me for not getting seconds at breakfast, the clouds were close to completing the dispersal they had started half an hour ago. Now I didn't know how long wrestling with your brother to reclaim the throne and protect your kingdom should take but I had the sinking feeling that Thor should have been back by now. My feet were aching from standing so long but I didn't leave the entire time to go sit down in the van because to do so would be disrespectful to Jane and somehow construe that I didn't think Thor would come back. So I stood beside Fandral, holding hands for long periods of time, leaning against him at other intervals, not speaking so much as to not penetrate to tense atmosphere that had descended since Thor had left via rainbow.

Just as the sun was starting to set the last of the huge storm clouds that had grown so massive that morning were completely gone. Jane teared up as she looked at the horribly clear sky, whispering, "They're gone."

It was painful to see her so torn up, so Fandral, Erik and I turned by unspoken consent to walk back to the van, leaving Jane alone with her thoughts to absorb it all.

"So what does this mean, are you staying?" I asked tentatively, his hand in mine as we walked back to the van.

"I'm not sure." He replied, eyes on the uneven terrain we traipsed.

We walked a few more paces before Westley stopped and because we were holding hands, I stopped too and looked at him.

"The gateway may have been sealed, there may be no way back. No one completely understands the complexities of the bifrost. If something has happened to it I may remain on this planet for a very long time." He explained. This concentrated look in his eye, as if he was trying to desperately to make me understand and continued, "However much I may care for you, I do not wish to be a burden. I don't fully understand your culture or many of the things of which you speak. If it is your desire, I shall take my leave of you and find another place from which I can defend your planet."

I stared at him for a minute, disbelief spreading its way across my face, when I finally found my voice I said insistently, "Ah, hell no. You are crazy! Of course I don't want you to do any of that! I don't care if you're from another realm, hell, I think that's endearing; you are not leaving. You are going to stay with me, you understand?"

A beautiful, relieved smile lit up his features as he replied simply, "As you wish."

I swooned like a loon at him unknowingly quoting my favorite line from the Princess Bride, and said very quickly and breathlessly, "Oh that is so hot."

And then I closed the distance between us for another incredibly passionate kiss.

After a minute of this, Erik, who wasn't too far away, cleared his throat in a reproachful way, I broke the kiss resentfully and turned to give him one of my patented, 'do ya mind?' glares when I saw him motioning with his head to Jane, who was slowly turning around in defeat to head to the van with us.

_Oh whoops,_ I thought, getting Erik's message to be more respectful in front of the chick whose boyfriend may never be able to come back.

"Let's cool it with the kisses for a minute," I suggested quietly to Fandral as we resumed our walk to the van.

And seeing as how it had worked so well for him the last time he said it, he repeated playfully, "As you wish."

I had to fight every impulse in my body to not clobber him right then and there, and said forcefully with a pursed mouth, "Stop that. I mean it."

He twinkled his pretty blue eyes at me but seemed to understand.

The sounds of our eight feet crunching on the sand filled the air as we continued our trek to the vehicle.

When we were closer, Fandral said to me almost tentatively, "So what do we do now?"

"Well, we'll get back into town and eat food. And you'll stay with me tonight." I informed him of the farthest my thought process had gone.

He accepted but asked, with a small amount of nervousness in his voice, "And then what?"

I felt so horrible for him in that moment. I realized exactly how much he had said goodbye to. His friends and probably his family were all back on Asgard which seemed to be closed to him now and all he had on this strange planet was me.

But I didn't let my realization color my voice and remained upbeat and optimistic for him, "I guess we'll have to wait and see."

We had made it to the van at this point and as Fandral opened the door for me he shot me this look that had me feeling like melting again, replying in that soft voice of his, "I guess we shall."

And let me tell you, I really couldn't wait.

**Author's Note: it's over! Oh I am feeling so bittersweet about this! This is my first multi-chapter that I have ever finished and I loved every minute of writing this. Darcy is so fun and Fandral is so attractive.**

**I honestly can't believe I managed to update everyday for a week and get 100 reviews for my trouble.**

**I hope you all enjoy this last chapter and that I will see you all again real soon with the sequel. **

**Okay I am probably (most likely) going to take a day or two off before I post the 1****st**** chapter of the sequel. So be on the look out for the second part of the story: My Life With a Norse Warrior God.**

**P.S. One of my reviewers NightOwl360 is working a Jane/Thor, Fandral/Darcy fic called Terrestrial Constellations that I think you should all check out. I haven't read much of it yet but I am definitely impressed so far. GO READ IT: .net/s/6989600/1/Terrestrial_Constellations**


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